Facebook Photos
Hey, what? I love digital photography. Sadly sometimes I wish it wasn't invented (I'd be happy with just film if digital never came along).
Reason : Facebook photos.
Never before have people felt the need to document every single moment of their pointless lives with overexposed compositionless flashfull photographs. I bet you at any gathering of two or more people who have Facebook accounts, 512MB (or more if the person in question spent money on a camera they have no idea how to use, except for...) of the world's data will fall into oblivion with the amount of rubbish pictures they'll start snapping away.
With each person having their dedicated 'Facebook Face' (girls, I know you practice it in front of the mirror, daily), pictures go on and on. The typical 'oh look, our hands!' picture and others of the sort.
You know I wouldn't mind it if you took a few photos. Thats alright. Hey, photographs are a good thing. But when you organize events and gatherings with a firm purpose to create Facebook photos, sorry, go away.
And people, lets leave the real photography to photographers. We don't need to see your schmancy mirror poses (ugh) and your -oh-my-good-god-sepia! processing.
New phenomenon by the way, Photo Booth. Not only is it sad that now people are buying Macs because they're 'cool' (instead of buying a Mac because its a Mac), the only application they seem to make due use of is photo booth. I mean, people spend days in front of it, posing with their friends, using those ghastly effects, and all for... Facebook.
Why the need to take all these photos though? To show off? My my thats childish. I agree sometimes the photos make sense, moments and all that, but not 221 of the same people in different poses (is it your solution to backing up photos?). Is it peer pressure? Because everyone else takes these photos you must to? Your photo count is too low? I'm not really sure.
Before Facebook, you could turn a corner without having to stare at a giggly-girls-group photo shoot. Why didn't you all take pictures back then, before Facebook? Oh right, because back then it wouldn't increase your Facebook photo count, isn't that right? Sure, you'd still take pictures, but you wouldn't drain your camera battery doing so.
Meeting friends is becoming an event for more Facebook pictures rather than actually meeting them. Half the time, or more, will be spent taking pictures. Events will have that recurring pause for Facebook pictures. Everyone will line up to be shot (sigh, its a camera and not a rifle) and the flash fires and whoopee, lets do 78 more, 76 of which will look exactly the same.
I could really go on about this forever, instead, I'll classify these twerps by their photo count (these are general guidelines so as always there are exceptions):
- 0-100 : You have lived at least 43 hours more than your fellow Facebookers due to not being interrupted for photos. You don't pose for it, and if you do you are usually forced to do so. Your pictures are genuine moments you wanted to treasure. You live life well, you can sit down and have a real conversation with someone. You are reliable and trustworthy. I salute you.
- 100-500 : You party. You are guilty for Facebook photos but around half of them weren't taken by you. You are a nice person to talk to, have genuine interests, and maintain an active lifestyle, but you succumb to Facebook photos more than you should.
- 500-1,435,980 : You own six digital cameras. You pay homeless people to take Facebook photos. You party a lot, suffer from addictions, and can't hold a decent conversation with a straw (which you sometimes talk to and take photos with). You need psychiatric attention, your friends can't help you, because they also fall into this class. If you are reading this, call, 1-800-FACKBOOKADDICT.
